Families are complex structures. Complicated factors must be taken into account when the decision is made to move the family into two homes. Thankfully the Children's Act makes provision for a cost-effective and proper solution which is in the best interest of children and parents. It is crucial that both parents know what is involved and that the correct team is contracted.
Anyone on your team should know the meaning of, and have solid experience with:
- Parenting Plans
- Know the Children's Act and other laws relating to divorce
- Not use terms like "Sole Custody"
- Not work for mum or dad only – this is a holistic approach; all members of the family are respected and taken into account.
A mediator/ facilitator should:
- Always be 100% impartial.
- Always “Have an approach which is conducive to conciliation and problem-solving should be followed and a confrontational approach should be avoided; and delay in any action or decision to be taken must be avoided as far as possible.” - Children’s Act Chapter 2(4).
- Never meet or communicate to/with one party only without the consent of all parties – mediation is a transparent process.
- Tell you things like you should convert to his/her religion or he/she would rule against you (don’t laugh, this actually happened).
- Always confirm in writing, everything that was discussed during every session.
- NOT ask for a R20 000 deposit. Mediation is an affordable option, huge payments are very seldom necessary.
- Refer you to specialists for example medical or financial specialists.
Posted by CoParenting